The Stubbornness We Share

There is a psychological condition in which a person deems himself to be the main character of the story while everyone else are merely side-acts. This can also be termed as God complex. The person believes whatever he thinks, says and does is correct and the world needs to be fixed.

This can lead to a host of problems. The people who suffer the most are the ones who are closest to the person, namely family and friends. They may try to help the person with a problem or a chore, but the self-righteous hero of the story thinks that taking help from a person makes him/her weak in the eyes of others. They will refuse any assistance even though over-working is a burden on them. They will not trust others and allow someone to share their problems. It becomes harder as each day the person becomes more remote and often fails to understand the people around him.

It is essential to know that everyone needs help from time-to-time and it does not make one smaller just because.

The person will be so rigid in the thought patterns that even when asking for advice, he will cut you off midway during the sentence and once again put his own views forward. This leads to him not gaining anything from the conversation, while is the worldview of being right all-the-time gets stronger.

Over time, This effect tends to rub off to the closest people in his circle. Family and friends will also develop similar tendencies as a coping mechanism to deal with the behavior. While they mean well for the person, they too will pick up irritability and give up an open mind to fit in the mold. This leads to the situation getting further out of hand. 

One day when called upon this behavior, he/she will start realizing where things started to go South. He will realize that he is trying to cloak his own insecurities and inability to make something of himself by finding out faults in others. Correcting other people would give him a temporary sense of relief. While it also makes for a great outlet for the built-up frustration and the ongoing feeling of helplessness. Somewhere down the line, he will come to the realization that he is the villain in the story. 

While the stubbornness is here to stay, I think it needs urgent attention if one expects to move ahead in life. Otherwise, it’s highly likely that one will fall into isolation and solitude.

This pattern of behavior is well-documented in psychology. It’s called the Dunning-Kruger effect.

If you feel that you too share some of the aforementioned tendencies, start by being kind to others. The most important lesson everyone should learn in life is to shut up and listen. You’d be surprised by the things people tell you if you let them.

Are there people in your life who demonstrate similar traits? How does it make you feel? Drop your thoughts in the comments below.

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